


Insecurity

by zombiefishgirl



Series: Of Ardour and Adoration [6]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Insecurity, extremely mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiefishgirl/pseuds/zombiefishgirl





	Insecurity

Meeting on the battlements for a kiss around noon became a part of her routine when in Skyhold, as firmly entrenched as discussing the days visitors with Josephine or checking in with Cole. Every kiss left her wanting more, he was always the first to pull away. Late at night, as she tossed and turned in her all too large chambers she worried that perhaps she had read too much into things, that maybe he was humouring her and she was like a silly child with a crush. She wanted more from their relationship, she wanted to see him out of that armour, she wanted to find out why Varric called him curly, she wanted to feel his lips on her neck, her breasts, her stomach, on all of her. She wanted to feel and hold all of him and she wanted to wake in his arms. But still she was left with her kiss, that smug smile that told her he knew EXACTLY the effect he had on her.  
One night, drinking with The Iron Bull she confided her fears that Cullen was maybe not as physically attracted to her as she would like him to be. In fact she wondered allowed why he did not just sweep off his desk and take her right there in the office when she was right there for the taking. Sick of hearing this diatribe for what may have been the dozenth time, The Iron Bull told her to just go and ask already if it was bothering her that much. She marched out, a little wobbly on her feet but determined to get an answer.  
Had she stayed a moment longer she might have heard Cole whispering "Holding her close, so beautiful, so bright. I don't deserve her, I cannot rush this, I cannot ruin this."  
She was embarrassed now to think of how she pounded on the office door, uncaring whether or not she woke him, the door had opened and he looked exhausted but had clearly been working at his desk. He said her name with a slightly startled smile, unsure as to what he owed the pleasure at this late hour.  
She stood in front of him and, slurring a little, started in on her concerns "So what is it, are you just not attracted to me? Because lots of people are you know! Sera said I have a pretty way about me and The Iron Bull said I have fantastic breasts!" She gestured a little and was pleased to see his eyes automatically lower for a moment or two before he determinedly looked her in the eye once again, his cheeks redder than she had ever seen them. "Even Solas said I am graceful! So what is it? Do you just not like elves? Or is it me?"  
He was tempted to laugh, more out of nerves than humour but he saw underneath the drunken anger she looked rather vulnerable.  
"May I speak now my lady?"  
Deflated a little she nodded her permission and he stepped in close, the candlelight creating dancing shadows across the plains of his handsome face.  
"You are, without a doubt the most remarkable woman I have ever known. And the most beautiful, the most enticing." His voice dropped to a husky whisper, "I find myself at nights, unable to sleep thinking of you, your embrace, your lips, your," feeling bold, he continued, "your fantastic breasts." Now it was her turn to blush. "But I have to admit that Templar training left me rather deficient in typical courtships, and even if it had not, you are most definitely not a typical woman. I did not want to presume too much of you or to push you into something we are not entirely ready for yet. There is nothing more that I want in life than to be with you and not despite of or because you are an elf or the Inquisitor but because you are warm and funny and compassionate." "And I have fantastic breasts" she interrupted with a small smile. "And you do indeed have fantastic breasts. But what we have together, what we could have together, it is special I think. Unique and able to be patient. I have not yet tried to make our relationship more physical because it is my fervent hope that we will have a very long time together for all the firsts in a relationship. You are the best thing to ever happen to me and I want to savour each moment we have together."  
She had sobered up a little now "Alright, well now I feel awkward and embarrassed." "I am rather familiar with the feeling" he said with a small laugh.  
She rested her hands on his chest and looked up at him, emerald eyes meeting amber "You could not have told me any of this before I marched in here and made a fool of myself?" He kissed her, softly, almost reverently "I do not know if you have noticed this about me my lady but I am not, as Varric and Dorian have pointed out on numerous occasions, the smoothest when it comes to matters of the heart. I did not know that you were feeling so ignored and for that I apologise but I do hope that you continue to be patient with me, more patient than I deserve, I know but I want you to know even if I am not always the best at expressing it, you are always very much in my thoughts and in my heart."  
"You are a lot smoother at this than you think" she whispered.  
"Don't tell anyone but I borrowed one of Cassandra's books."  
She let out a startled laugh and he kissed her, firmly and passionately, pressing himself close to her, letting her feel just how much he wanted her before he walked her back to her quarters like a perfect gentleman. As he turned to leave her at her door with a final kiss she called out in the empty hall "You are in my heart too Ma Vhenan."  
That night they both went to sleep in their own beds with a smile.


End file.
